Tuesday, August 26, 2008

12 minute uphill hike

Time in Bathroom, 12 minutes...

Wipe was heavy like cream cheese spread across a bagel. Or was it like taking heavy cream cheese off a bagel? You decide.
Second wipe triggers another log. I question my ability to judge my bowels. They are tricky monkeys mischievously chewing gobs of banana. They punch each other's cheeks and laugh maniacally with each explosion of banana protein. Only when my body feels empty do i know my time on the throne is complete.

Second wipe, is still thick with my leavings. Several more deep wipes irritate my tender hole. I finish, body empty, toilet paper gone. Thick chocolate streaks decorate the bowl. Thick fumes decorate the air and hangs stagnant and rotten like dead moss on a willow tree. The smell tickles my nostrils and trigger a nose bleed. Blood trickles from my nostril and beads of sweat roll down my cheeks. One last wipe with tiny scraps for certainty's sake. Blood there too. Under my heavy breath, i vow to control these bowels once and for all.


Daniel said...


Ann said...

you should log your diet as well. hell, start taking pictures. this blog would be funnier if it wasn't my boyfriend's blog.